Life moves fast. So do our feelings. Half the time, we don’t even know what we’re feeling. But when we do, here are steps that can help you. You can do all four or practice one.

Start with noticing your language

How you frame the emotion matters. For example, instead of saying/thinking I'm worried. Try “this is what worry feels like.” This helps you to create some space between you and the emotion.

Feel what you are feeling 

 Literally. Not what happened. Or who did what. Feel your physical sensations. Maybe the tightness in your neck or jaw. Or the ache in your belly. This helps to interrupt the spiral so you can stay present in this moment.

Make sure you’re breathing

I know that sounds crazy. Of course you're breathing. But when we’re overwhelmed, scared, angry or worried, our breathing becomes shallow without us even realizing it.

Consciously breathing can help calm your nervous system and create more ease in your mind and body.

Try this: Make your exhale longer than your inhale. Inhale for a count of two and exhale for a count of four.  Do that five times. Notice how you feel after. 

Bring in physical touch

It can be as simple as gently holding your thumb or placing one hand over your opposite shoulder. 

Touch is soothing. And healing.

Light touch helps to soothe your nervous system and promote physical and emotional wellbeing. 

Start with gently holding your thumb for three minutes and breathe. Do not squeeze or rub. You can do it anywhere or anytime. You could be talking to a friend, watching TV or sitting quietly. The practice is called Jin Shin Jyutsu, a 3000-year-old healing art. 

These four steps are a place to begin

They can help you stay with an uncomfortable feeling long enough to recognize it—before your mind shifts to a more familiar discomfort.

Feeling an uncomfortable feeling and staying with it is the first step toward creating lasting change.

We also need to clear what has accumulated in the body, question the beliefs that shape how we respond, and develop the capacity to remain present in our lives when difficult feelings arise.

Why I do this work? 

I know what it's like to move through life holding more than you let on.

For years I sought to minimize the pain I was carrying. I didn’t want others to feel less than in their struggles, so I shoved down my grief, sadness and anger from losing my little boy to leukemia at the age of nine.

I’ve come to learn three things:

1) shoving down what you feel doesn’t help anyone.

2) those unfelt or underfelt emotions stay with you, affecting how you think and feel, physically and emotionally.

3) sharing our pain can help others to feel less alone no matter the cause.

While grief has been a big part of my journey, it's not the only part.

Many of the women who come to me are consumed by trying to hold every part of their lives together. At the end of the day, they're often thinking about what they didn't get done and how they'll manage everything the next day. They second-guess their decisions, wondering if they should have said or done something differently. And they wish they could stop worrying about what others think.

The practices I teach—Jin Shin Jyutsu, breathwork, yoga, meditation and learning to shift your beliefs—have helped my clients find greater peace within themselves. They’ve come to feel more empowered to help themselves and recognize where limiting beliefs have kept them stuck.

“So I ask you, what might be possible if you began to feel what you've been carrying and trust in your ability to help yourself?”